Getting Dorm Ready

 Getting Dorm Ready (and mentally prepared as a parent)

If you have a recent graduate, you may be preparing to send them off to college in the next couple of weeks.  This exciting time is filled with mixed emotions of nostalgia, anticipation, anxiety, and pride.  In the coming weeks, you will have to manage all those emotions, and it will likely be challenging.  To make things as easy on yourself as possible, plan and get organized with all that you must do. (Of course, involve your college-bound kid as much as possible! They can handle a lot of the details and decisions, too. Don’t forget that!) 

Having an organized shopping list will help ease the transition. You might even have a little fun with it!  At More Than Paper, we have a variety of dorm room items that are extra special touches as you send your college-bound student off.  We think these “extras” will be fun add-ons to your list. Try some of our favorite products for the college-bound: 

·       Personalized Laundry Bags for Dorm Room: This Hot Pink Trimmed Canvas Laundry Duffel has a dozen or more personalized design options. The rope drawstring enclosure ensures that you can carry your laundry to the washer/dryer without losing any garments. At 27" H x 14 1/2" W, the capacity is about a week’s worth of clothes. Currently 25% off retail.  Visit:

·       Personalized Storage Bins for Dorm Rooms: These canvas storage bins can be personalized with content descriptions, names, monograms or initials and are a great item to have on hand in the dorm room. Sized 12" H x 17" W x 11 1/2" D, you can easily store toiletries that don’t need to be accessed daily, shoes, bulky sweaters or sweatshirts, or school supplies. They look great under the bed or in an open closet. 

·       Personalized Sticky Notes for College: Send them off with a couple of fun and useful items for their desk, like these personalized sticky note cubes. Your college bound young adult can write a quick note to their roommate or reminders about tests or projects due.  Customize by using the college colors!  

·       Personalized Towel Sets for Dorm/College: These plush cotton bath towels come in sets of two and will make every day feel like a vacation with their extra absorbent, soft feel. Made from luxury 100% pure cotton and Oeko-Tex Certified, the definitive mark of excellence for products that are healthy for use and environment, these towels feature a dobby weave pattern and can be personalized with a variety of monogram and personalization styles. You choose your thread color, too! 

·       Personalized Toiletry Bags/Dopp Kits: This zip closure cosmetic bag is a stylish way to hold your makeup or toiletry items. Personalize with your choice of monogram style and threat color choice! There’s a matching “train case” for larger toiletrie and circle case for accessories or jewelry.   (Other prints are available in these!) 

Now that you have some fun products to purchase for the dorm, let’s tackle some tips to help you manage the psychological aspect of your young adult headed to college.  We know that this time can be exceptionally hard but remember that this rite of passage is a milestone of victory.  Stay cool. You can do it! 

Expect a grief wave 

Many parents expect to feel excited or worried, but they are caught off guard by a deep sense of grief. You aren’t just moving a teenager into a dorm; you are closing a 18-year chapter of daily, hands-on parenting. Perhaps you will find yourself crying over an empty laundry basket or passing by their empty room. We are worried that the dinner table will send us into a massive crying fest…. The empty chair? What are we going to do? Don't fight it. Acknowledging that this is an ending as much as a beginning allows you to process the change rather than letting it manifest as control or anxiety during move-in week.

 

Resist the urge to manage 

When we feel anxious or out of control, we often channel that energy into logistics. It’s easy to obsess over whether they have enough twin-XL sheets, the perfect desk organizer, or a first-aid kit stocked for a minor apocalypse.  Might we add that they do not need a perfectly curated room to succeed. (We think the craze of over-decorating dorm rooms has gotten out of control! These Pinterest, picture perfect curated dorm rooms are over-the-top and over-indulgent!) 

 

Plus, over preparing your teen can accidentally send a message that you don't think they can handle things on their own, so take a step back and let them take the lead on packing and decorating. If they forget something, Amazon delivers to dorms, and local Target runs are a rite of passage. Letting go of the small details now helps you let go of the bigger things later.

 

 

Shift your mindset to consultant 

For nearly two decades, your job description has likely been manager. You scheduled the appointments, managed the calendar, and solved the daily crises. If you stay in the manager role, your student won't learn how to navigate adulthood. Mentally rebrand yourself as a consultant. Consultants don't make the rules or execute the tasks; they offer advice when asked and provide a safe sounding board. When your kid texts you with a problem this fall, practice asking, "That sounds tough—how do you think you're going to handle it?" before jumping in with a solution.

 

Prepare for a bad attitude 

In the final weeks before departure, you might notice your usually sweet teenager becoming uncharacteristically irritable, picking fights, or pulling away. This is a psychological phenomenon known to many as "soiling the nest." It is much easier for a young adult to leave a house where everyone is arguing than it is to leave a warm, perfectly peaceful, tearful home. Give them time and a little grace. Recognize that the sudden friction is just a clumsy defense mechanism against the fear of leaving home. Take a deep breath and don't take the bait.

 

Exit Strategy 

The actual move-in day is exhausting, loud, and incredibly chaotic. The worst thing you can do is linger indefinitely in a cramped dorm room while your student is trying to figure out how to interact with their new roommate. A long, drawn-out goodbye often makes the anxiety worse for both of you. Set a clear expectation before you even leave the house. Plan to help them unpack the heavy boxes, set up the bed, grab a quick lunch, and then make a clean exit. Keep the final hug tight, meaningful, and brief. Tell them you love them, you are proud of them, and you know they can handle this. Save your big cry for the car ride home.

 

A Final Reminder

The goal of parenting was always to raise someone who could thrive without us daily. The fact that they are ready to go means you did your job. Celebrate all their hard work and the achievement of getting into college and starting their next chapter. The nest might feel a bit quieter, but the relationship isn't ending—it's just leveling up.